Bitter Sweet Nothing

2009-11-08T21:17:00.003+08:00

Hello wordpress
Goodbye blogspot.
Shall leave this empty space for a little while.
I'll be back perhaps.
Perhaps.

2009-11-05T00:12:00.002+08:00

A pinch of mood swing.
:<

2009-10-25T22:01:00.003+08:00

Things ain't the same any more.
We used to laugh,
used to smile at each other.
Used to walk down town holding hands,
but it just fades with time.
Start to get bored with life right now.
Can't complain,
that's the path of life I've choosen.

Random thoughts

2009-10-25T00:41:00.004+08:00

Imperfect love,
Imperfect life.
Still searching for the almost perfect love,
almost perfect life.

Where has pure happiness gone to?
It seems to be playing hide and seek with me.

Have been thinking alot recently.
Hope the case will come to an end soon.
Really tired of thinking and thinking.
Till now, I do feel the pinch of pain.

Always remember,
"You live for yourself and
You're gonna leave the world by yourself.
So, no one can be depend on except for yourself."

Okay,
All these are super random.
Goog night.

2009-10-19T02:18:00.003+08:00

How does it feel when 1K vanished from your bank account overnight?
Frastruted, helpless, upset and etc etc.
That is how I feel.
Unhappy, happy birthday.
Perhaps It's not a good month for me.
sigh.

2009-10-10T21:41:00.002+08:00

I spend almost 1k on my 21st Birthday Celebration.
High expenditure this month.
:<

2009-10-02T23:01:00.000+08:00

~~Future Love~~

2009-09-05T22:56:00.010+08:00

Everyone have an ambition to keep them moving forward.
I've mine too.
Being an Air Steward or a Teacher.
But it seems so hard to accomplish,
cause plans doesn't alway go by the way you want it to.
I so gonna work hard to accomplish one of it.
Work hard, work hard, work hard, Michelle!
Never say die like the energizer batteries.

Have been thinking recently,
Should I
a. Take up degree in business studies
b. Non stop trying to fit into allied educator
c. Continue to find other jobs to earn more money
d. Take up the offer of a site engineer which offers good pay

No doubt, money do play an evil part.
Cause in Singapore it's all about dollars and cents.

And moola to satisfy my hunger for.
1. ~~Samsung Omnia II~~
2. Gucci Wallet
3. Long Champ Bag
4. Gucci Landyard
5. French Connection Watch
6. Bebe Basic & Tank Top
7. Burberry Tote Bag
8. Chloe Perfume
9. Fred Perry Polo
10. ~~Polariod Camera~~

I know I'm materialistic,
but like what my supervisor said
"Welcome to the working society"
The more you earn,
the more you'll want to pamper yourself with this and that.

I'll work double hard, triple hard to earn more moola.
I promies!
Not forgetting saving up for my studies**
and my upcoming 21st birthday celebration @ Aranda Country Club.

2009-09-04T11:45:00.002+08:00

It seems like we have drifted apart.
We meet like once a week,
Spend few hours having simple dinner to end the day.
The messages we exchanged can be count with 10 fingers or less.
Nothing much to talk about except for daily routines.
We burned our weekends working,
haven't been watching movies for months.
No quality quantity time spend together.
At times, I do envy many couples.
sigh.
It's a tough obstacle to go through.

Sugar, spice & everything nice to build up a happy relationship.
But where is mine?

2009-07-11T10:08:00.004+08:00

I woke up early in the morning still thinking of my birthday celebration
and I'm so excited about it.
It's because it marks my 21 years living on earth,
which means I'm able to watch R21!
Okay, that's not the main point.
The main part is the celebration!

Was planning to hold it at Aranda Country Club on the actually day,
buying a polariod camera
(or any kind soul willing to buy me one? :x)
so that I can take photos with individual guest,
paste it on the wall and
everyone is gonna write a note on the post kit and paste beside it.
I want to fill the living room with helium balloons,
but that gonna cost me a boom,
so shall put that on the waiting list.

Oh oh!
And maybe a christmas tree so that I can put all my presents below it.
Christmas + Birthday mood.
How about that?
Teeheehee!

2009-06-28T03:21:00.005+08:00

I worked so hard for past 6 months,
hardly get any free time during weekends due to FYP & IAP,
So now when I'm free I just hope to spend quality and quantity time with you,
but you told me you've got to work.
Who didn't want to spend time with their boyf/girlf during weekends?

I tired putting my feelings aside to compromise with you.
But it doesn't take one night to adapt.
I know how hard you gonna work,
I try not to grumble.
Pardon me for the harsh words,
I just blurt it out without going through my mind.
I'm just being too straight forward I guess.
That's just me.

I don't feel good recently,
Still being bothered by the rejection from MOE.
Trying hard to look for a full time job.
Send around 15 resumes for the past 2 days but none reply.
How am I gonna survive with that little income I earned from working 22hours per week?
I tried to control spending on "unnecessary" stuffs,
but when I'm in a negative mood,
I'll tend to shop and eat and shop.

Sometimes I'll just grumble,
Life is so unfair.
People born in silver spoons are envy.
But different family has their own story to tell.
I worked so hard, I tried so hard,
but sometimes I see no result that got me feeling so dejected.
Must I really go through one big round to persue to my dreams?
Or will I be able to accompolish my dream in the first place?
No doubt I'll keep trying.
Just that too many rejection is killing me.

Everyone have a tree for shelter,
but who will be the tree to give me shelter?
Sometimes when I'm down, I don't see anyone around.

I need a get away,
but there's no one that can bring me away.
:<

2009-06-23T01:28:00.003+08:00

Dear God,

What have I done wrong to deserve this punishment?
I witness my own dream drifting further away from me,
my heart aches, I felt disappointed.
Ashamed I should say and I just feel like curling under my blanket.
One step backwards from the stepping stone,
and now I'm back to square one.
My mind's screaming to get out of this current job of mine.

Cabin Crew, I failed.
Allied Educator, I failed.
For a moment, I just felt my world's crumbling down.
Why, WHY can't my little dream be fullfill?
What's wrong with me?
I really worked hard.
Can't you feel it?
Maybe I'm just a little nervous when attending interviews,
but I tired so hard to hide it away.

I wanted the job not because of money,
but for passion can't you see?
I don't mind working for free.

I didn't look for other job after the interview,
cause I've confidence in myself thinking that my passion will make it through,
but I was wrong.
Maybe I'm just too dumb and ugly.

Sigh.
I'm really very upset.
Goodnight.

2009-06-16T00:34:00.003+08:00

Where has happiness gone to?
I can't feel it at all,
but living in worries and doubts.
:(

Dear God,
If you hear me.
Please fullfill my little humble dream.
Thanks a trillion.

With loves,
Michelle.

2009-05-11T00:44:00.004+08:00

It's not always when you wake up the next morning,
things will be better and
we could forget about yesterday's quarrel.
Cause It just shows that the problem ain't being solve,
but was being avoided.

Sorry seems to have lost it's meaning ever since it's being frequently used.
Sometimes I just hope I could receive more attention.
Just like how one could read my mind.

I often don't believe in words spoken/texted.
Cause words are cheap.
Actions often speak louder then words, isn't it?

I dreamt of you appearing infront of me after my work,
I ran over and hopped on to you.
~~Cause no doubt, I do miss you.~~

2009-05-06T20:03:00.003+08:00

This is my heart
Please take care
This is my heart
Always be there
This is my heart
Some things you can't take
This is my heart
So whatever you do Don't break my heart

This is my heart
Pretend that it's yours
This is my heart
It's too valuable to bruise
This is my heart
So whatever you do
Don't lose my heart

This is my heart
So before you tell a lie
This is my heart
Burn me alive
This is my heart
Remember pain's too rough
This is my heart
So whatever you do
Don't break my heart

2009-05-05T23:56:00.003+08:00

First you kept some girls photo in your cell phone.
Claimed that you just transferred everything from your desktop over,
and nothing wrong with keeping it since you didn't know her.
This didn't happen once, ain't twice.
Often when you changed a new cell phone there odd to be some girls photo inside.
be in some pretty random girls or some girl you used to like.
I forgive & forget.

Next, you kept her msg inside your inbox.
And even asked her why she didn't text you recently.
It seems like you're looking forward to her messages.
Heart breaking.

It's natural for me to turn sour.
Instead of explaning and sharing some comfy words to make me feel better,
you accused me for the changed in attitude and even shouted at me.
Disappointing.
Why got so awake and protective when you have done nothing wrong?

I walked off but you didn't hold me back.
Leaving me wondering around my block crying.
But you wasn't there to wipe off my tears.

& too close for comfort.

2009-04-29T23:48:00.007+08:00

Feeling mixture of everything today.

Angry because in the very first place when I told them I want to step into the working society before persuing my studies and yet they lectured me saying that I should continue my studies after graduate. I consume their advices and lay my plans on futhering my studies in SIM, shared my plan with dad but what I got was rejection.

Dejected because Plan A, B, C, D have failed.

Disappointed because after so much planning I'm back to square 1.

Hurt becase I know my parents ain't feeling good too for not being able to support me in my studies.

Lost because I don't know what to do after my attachment ends. I don't want to be doing nothing when I'm only allow to contribute maximum 22hours at Giordano.

Tired cause I have been working basically everyday just to earn that little amount of money to meet my everyday and that extra cash to make my medication through shopping.

Upset because my parents just don't seems to understand me when I know clearly of my family finance status in the very first place. They wanted me to study when I choose to work and yet, sigh.

I kept telling myself I want to get out of giordano after my attachment, due to the bad welfare they have for part timers. But I guess I'll have to get stucked there again. Cause It ain't a good year to graduate due to the start of economic crisis. And what I want ain't always what I can get. I'm sorry for the harsh words I said to you mum, but I'm really tired of my life for now.

I need a get away badly, but who can bring me to?

2009-03-21T00:44:00.007+08:00

I used to be naive thinking that everyone of my friend owns only a mask.
But I was wrong.
As we grew older,
we tend to walk across many people's life.
And for each we left a different impression.
It ain't easy to please everyone, but at least I tried.
Success or fail,
It's up to you to decide.

No doubt there's still some out there thinking that I'm such a pain in their arse.
And tend to put on a facade with me.
If you feel hatred,
just show/speak it out but don't be an actor/actress.

It ain't nice talking behind people's back,
cause you won't want the same thing to happen it on you.
Speak nicely and exchange feedbacks,
and everyone will change for the better.

After going through so many ups and downs,
I get to know who's true and who's not.
Who deserve to walk an extra miles for,
and who deserve just hello & goodbye.

This week is my second week of attachment and I fell sick.
Feels so lifeless and restless working everyday
and have no spare time for myself.

I know I shouldn't have continued my part time job,
but $500 barely cover my expenses & transportation.
And not forgetting about birthday presents.
Freedom was being exchanged to money spend on luxury & shopping.
That's the only dosage that I can rely on to make me happy,
and make me feel that the long hours spend working are worth while.

Till now,
I still don't know what I'm gonna do after I graduate.
Cause plan A and plan B failed,
and I have no heart to plan plan C,
cause I'm afraid to get stuck in the circle again.

I don't really know what Im blogging
Cause I barely have 2 hours of sleep last night.
And I just typed what's on my sleepy mind.

Goood night earthlings.

Don't tell me you're worried,

when I can't feel or see it.

It's all just words to me.

2009-03-16T02:35:00.002+08:00

我想要的那片天空你是不是能够給我?
爱不是一加一努力就有結局.

2009-02-08T23:49:00.003+08:00

21 this year,
and it's another turning point in life.

It's time for me to lay back on my coach and think of what I want to be in the near future.
After my attachment, which ends on June,
will be the day I officially graduate.

Few months back,
I send my resume to a number of airlines,
and even went for SIA & British airway interviews.
But didn't manage to get through.
I dropped the idea of being a cabin crew cause I know my tattoo can't get me there.

My parents insist that I continue my studies
cause they think with a diploma cert can't get me to anywhere far.
It's true,
but I didn't have the heart to study.

And even if I do,
I want to apply to NIE.
And be a Teacher!
That's another of my ambition.
I know all this are typical girls' ambition,
but ya!

My dream of flying didn't die off.
Maybe someone can just take a fire extinguisher and put it off.

2009-01-11T23:31:00.004+08:00

Seating along the river and had a heart to heart chat with him.

And I promised I'll be a better girlf!

You have got me to fall on.

No matter what decision you make, I'll always give you my moral support.

It's been a real long time since we had quality & quantity time spend during the weekend.

Enjoyed my yesterday & today with you.

And no doubt We'll be heading to henderson wave to snap snap soon k!

Sorry for not being able to make it this 2 days.

2009-01-06T22:58:00.005+08:00

For a moment I got a little short tempered.
Life is still bored even after escaping from FYP.
With the daily routine of work, work and more work.
I've choosen this and I know money is never enough to be earn.

At times I just hope someone. .
who can make me feel that he/she's there 24/7 for me,
who can understand me,
who can treat me sweet,
who can make me feel like a little girl,
and give me the treatment that I thought I deserve.

Paint a smile on my face cause I'm tired,
cause I dislike daily routines,
cause you didn't want to see me frown,
cause you just want to see me smile.

It's just like receiving a hot bath and fullfilled dinner
after coming home from work.

"I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I loved
I wanted you, I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how *damn* deep
I wanted you, I wanted you"

I can't seens to feel you.
and I thought I could take you for another stranger.

2008-12-27T23:35:00.002+08:00

I'm upset.
Very upset.
I spend my xmas crying in bed.
The tears can't stop flowing even till now.
My smile is just a facade,
please pardon me.

2008-12-25T12:04:00.003+08:00

We're driving slow through the snow on 5th Avenue
And right now radio's all that we can hear
Now we ain't talk since we left, it's so over due
It's cold outside but between us its worse in here

The world slows down
But my heart beats fast right now
I know this is the part
Where the end starts

I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through our fingers
I don't wanna try now
All that's left is good-bye
To find a way that I can tell you
I hate this part right here

I know you'll ask me to hold on
And carry on like nothing's wrong
But there is no more time for lies'
Cause I see sunset in your eyes

It's hard to find a sole mate that could truely understands you.
Even without me uttering a word, he will know what I'm thinking.
The someone that will listen to me and understand how I feel.
The someone that will just feel for me even without me sharing.
The someone that will just paint a smile on my face when he sees me frown.
The someone that could give me the attention, the care, the love that I need all year round.

2008-12-22T00:32:00.005+08:00

I just randomly feel like blogging!
Have been skipping school recently to attend work.
I'm like a happy girl at work cause It makes me feel home,
with all the fun loving colleagues around,
unlike school, it's super boring and It's a pain to my arse.
Can't wait for FYP to end so that I can work almost everyday.
You know, time = money!

Recently I've been on diet.
I shit if I had more then 2 meals?
No more milk tea for me.
It's gonna be ice lemon tea or chrysanthemum.
I'm trying to drink plain water but it's tastless.
I want a flat tummy please.

My dark eye rings are conquring my eyes.
I feel so ugly.
I need an "eraser" to erase it!
):

3 more days to xmas.
Gonna spread my love by baking cookies for beloved friends & colleagues.
I have been into baking recently.
And I just baked brownies like last tuesday.
But it taste a little to chocolaty.
Gonna improve on it next time.

In a blink of eye 2009 is coming.
New year, new resolutions.
And my resolutions for next year is
to earn more money, stay positive and happy!
Find a stable full time job after graduate,
Maybe as Giordano TCSA2?
So that I'll get 1k for long service award after 5 years.
Okay, I'm kidding.

Oh oh,
Twilight is my new love now.
Gonna borrow the books from my colleague
as she own the whole series of it.

2008-12-03T23:24:00.010+08:00

For the past one and a half week my soul wasn't with me.
It has been flying around and my mind was just day dreaming all the way.
My heart and mind wasn't in the project room,
I miss working,
cause the fun & laughter there make me feel carefree & comfy.
Perhaps, It's a place that I called home.

And I've been avoiding staying out late.
Preferred going home straight after school.
Cause everyday I've been feeling lethargic,
and my bed is my companion for now.

Final Year Project is driving me crazy.
It's a waste of time.
Cause basically everyday I've been staying inside doing nothing.
I admit I've a robot to program on.
But I have no feelings for it.
Cause I tried dealing with it but it just didn't go the way I commended.
And with the time spend inside the fish tanks,
I can actually earn more money for my allowance.
Cause ever since FYP started,
I can only work during weekends.
And the amount earned per month can merely support my basic essentials.

I screwed up my interview for British Airline yesterday.
I wanted to back out when I reached the lobby,
cause I know I'll make a fool out of myself when It comes to Chinese.
And I really did.
I was given a English passage on Queen Victoria's reign and a Chinese passage on economy.
I got a little nervous so I read the English passage like a bullet train.
After glancing through the Chinese passage,
I just admit the truth to the panel that my Chinese ain't good.
She asked me to give it a try.
I stared blankly at those bunch of unfamiliar words,
read the first two words and I didn't know how to continue.
She explained to me that they're looking for cabin crews with fluent mandarin
as their route are mainly to china and etc.
I apologized for taking up her time, she gave me a warm smile and a hand shake.

For a moment, I just feel the world's crumbling down on me.
I failed auto cad for I-don't-know-what-reason.
Which cause me to drop a complimentary module to repeat it.
So I started my FYP later then those normal students by a month.
And my attachment got delayed till next year march.
Which means I'll only graduate after June.
So from January till march I'm gonna be free,
dumbly waiting for attachment to start.
Which is a waste of time.

And recently I've been having flash backs,
walking down memory lanes.
So many mixed feelings came rushing by.

Perhaps I need some time alone,
Or maybe someone to enlighten me.
It's time for me to wake up from my dreams,
stop whining about FYP and start touching up on my project.

Michelle,
Everything will be fine.
Tomorrow will be a better day.
It will be . . .

2008-10-30T00:19:00.002+08:00

1. Red DS Lite
2. Burberry Tote Bag
3. Burberry Haymarket Check Coin Purse
4. Gucci landyard

That's my plan for christmas & upcoming new year.
I'm gonna work hard for it.
Or maybe any sugar daddy will like to buy one of the above as xmas gifts for me?
You're most welcome!
-Bows-
:D

2008-10-24T09:13:00.004+08:00

Today shall be the first day of battling with my emotions.
I shan't be a cry baby and cry that often.
I have to be patience and awaits 2 weeks later after your confinement,
so that I'll be able to see you during weekends.
And and 3 months to your Pass Out Parade
when you'll have 2 weeks holiday while waiting to be post to different pigeon holes.

Sorry that we had that little quarrel yesterday.
Was really upset,
cause all I want was you to whisper some sweet melody into my ears,
and everything will be fine.
Just want you to take care of me for the very last time,
cause I know I'm gonna be a big girl and take care of myself when you went in.

Do take good care of yourself you hear me?
Didn't have time to go to the temple to pray for an amulet.
So the 7 lucky charms I made shall protect you when you're in Tekong k?
Remember to cover blanket as it's cold lately,
Remember to call me often,
I'll be waiting for your call everynight.
We shall jia you together and battle against this war.

with love,
girlf.
<3 x infinite

2008-10-15T16:33:00.001+08:00

It's time for me to start adapting to a life
without you by my side.
Where I can't just hear your voice
or see you as and when I like.

NS is a must for every guys to go through,
unless special situation.
And I'm only left with weekends to see you.
But the quantity spend is gonna be very little
Cause basically for the next half a year
it's gonna be office hours for weekdays,
and burn my weekends with work.

The thought of not having you physically by my side makes me upset.
But there's nothing I can do but to grumple about NS
and look forward to weekends or even public holidays.

And I'm not event excited or looking forward to my birthday.
Cause it marks the 8 days left for me to spend with you.

):

You must be strong & healthy inside k?
Hope everything will go smoothly,
and I'll always pray for you!

2008-10-08T09:13:00.001+08:00

I'm not looking forward to my birthday.
And I don't want it to come so fast.
Just want to cherish the time with you for now.

My motivation at work

2008-09-19T19:59:00.019+08:00

Shop gathering held @ Downtown East Chalet
on the 16th September, Tuesday.
It was also a farewell party for both
Anna (Philippino student who came here for attachment)
& Jarisa (Our Area Manager).

Two rooms were booked but many people left in the middle of the night
and left with 5 of us staying over as next day were our rest day.

5 of us with no plan in mind and we played human UNO stacko
where each have a chance to pile up on each other.
Imagine the one way below have to support a weight of 200KG?
HAHAHAHA!
We had pillow & blanket party too.
It was fun though the number of people were little.

My Motivation at Work:

Our lovely area managers and shop managers:

I'm sure this is some thing that you all are waiting for.

Bloody neh neh!

Our team lost in the treasure hunt and we got to do this!

***

****

*****

****

***

T-A-D-A-H!

Laugh all you can!

I know you all will be laughing hard infront of your monitor.

Look at my face.

It's blushing red.

Tarzen & Jane!

He actually stuffed plastic bags so that his bikini won't look flat.

HAHAHA!

By right it's suppose to be the leader (in grey singlet)

who's gonna wear the whole custome

but we as a team are so nice that we share the burden!

After all the fun & excitment during chalet.

I'm down with flu & sore throat!

Can someone please chop off my nose

and screw it back when it recovers.

Night peeps.

2008-09-14T23:52:00.003+08:00

My second family.

Second home, Lucky Plaza.

They're a bunch of fun loving peeps revolving round my everyday.

Upcoming shop gathering @ Downtown East Chalet, Dinner&Dance and maybe trip to batam.

Anticipated is the word.

291107

2008-09-12T01:35:00.000+08:00

At times, when it rains during work,
There will be a flash back of you.
Walking down the stairs,
pretending that you need an umbrella to cross over to the other side of town,
when your motive was to pass me the cough sweets.
But after all it left was a doubt to where are we now.
You choosed your path while I took mine.
Swings, macdonal breakfast, night safari, clubs, Ikea, Lot 1, staying over,
It all ended last christmas.

If you still do read my blog,
if you're clever enough to notice the invisible entry.
I just want to thank you for the short memories we once shared.
Hope you're doing fine and cutting down on your drinking.

2008-07-20T15:38:00.000+08:00

Utterly disappointed.

If I don't even care about you,
I won't have let the water droplets flow down my cheeks.
Blame-me-don't-blame me If I uses harsh words,
cause I believe people learn from the hard way.
And good words are just melody to the ears.

It's time for you to seat down and think of what you want in life.
Make alternate plans cause
life don't always go the way we want it to.

2008-06-30T13:49:00.000+08:00

I hate quarrels,
I hate crying alone in bed.
I'm disappointed.

I try and try so hard to keep our love alive.
If you don't know me at this point,
Then I highly doubt you ever will.

I really need you to give me
the unconditional love I used to feel.
It's no mistaking,
We're just erasing.
From out hearts & minds.

2008-06-15T18:22:00.000+08:00

I'm running with a fever again.
While common tests are around the corner,
but I'm still in no mood for it.
Where's my sense of urgency?
Guess I lost it while my mind & body are racing with time.

" Last christmas I gave you my heart,
but the very next day you gave it away. . . "
I'll never get an answer.
It shall remain as a mystery.

2008-05-30T17:02:00.000+08:00

I HAD PIMPLE OUTBREAK!
There are 4 pimples at my pretty face.
Can someone please save me?
I want back my flawless skin.
-frown-
):

2008-05-27T18:13:00.000+08:00

Why do my brother have better treatment then me.
When I'm the hardworking one.
Juggling between work and studies ain't easy.
It just got me exhausted.
And less time spend with my family & friends.

I was havin my fever,
all my mum said was to blame it on myself for staying out late all night.
And asked why I didn't know how to take care of myself.

And when my brother had a fever,
they will check on him all day.
and put ice pack on his head.
And gave those worried look.

When my brother took my money
and I complained to my mum,
my mum just asked me to take it as I'm giving my brother money?
It's like wth.
Whenever he took my things he just didn't ask for permission.

He can treat my parents rudely,
and my mum still pamper him with the things he want.
It's not fair.

I used to think that I'm being fortunate
living a happy simple life.
But as time passed by,
I got so not contented.

Maybe I'm over reacting.
Or maybe I'm just sensitive.
my head's spinning.
Gonna curl myself up in bed.

2008-05-27T01:12:00.000+08:00

Got admitted to hospital with a high fever last night.
And the only thing I could remember was
I'm being wrapped with a big sheet of blanket
and I'm still shivering and crying.
I just felt like collapsing on the floor any time
as the headaches are killing me.
I can't even stand up and walk properly.

The superwoman in me has reached it's limit.
Perhaps all I need is a good long rest.
Fever please go away,
and my throat is killing me.

2008-05-25T17:20:00.000+08:00

Got a little emo over here.
This time round it ain't easy for me to recover.
Sorry has lost it's meaning.
Cause it had been repeating over and over again.
I don't believe in words, but actions.

2008-05-22T12:39:00.000+08:00

The pain engraved on my hand ain't hurtful as those compared to my heart.
Terrible and disappointed I feel this summer.
All those quarrels, all those unhappiness,
it just go round and round,
like a never ending loop.

You ain't there for me,
when all I need are some sweet melody and a pat on my head.
You choose to shut me from your door.
I gave up.
All those little effort you just don't get to see.

),:

2008-05-16T16:14:00.000+08:00

I'm unhappy.
Every quarrels just got me disappointed.
When will all these unhappiness gonna end?
When will peace and happiness come knocking at my door?

If you hate my job, then hate me too, since I love my job.
Don't jump into conclusion cause it may just kill someone.
Don't always prove that I'm wrong,
cause when I speak,
I hope that you'll realise that you're in a wrong too.
If being considerate and trying hard to compromise seems a facade to you,
you just flush my effort down the drain.

I'm always looking forward to our datings,
hoping things will just go pefectly fine and sunny.
And when a storm just sweeps by,
It just pulls me deep down the sea,
and it will be hard for me to swim back ashore

It's been quite some time since I had a long cry,
It just showed the hurt I felt deep down inside.
Cause everything I do comes with a reason,
And all I ask for is a little understanding and appreciation.

2008-03-22T17:55:00.000+08:00

I've forgotten how to be a good girl,
cause I collected my freedom way back time.
But at least I know my limits.
Please pardon me.

2008-03-20T15:56:00.000+08:00

Have you ever thought of how I feel
before putting the blame on me?
Let me tell you this,
you're not always right,
cause you don't even bother about how I feel, think & do.
Don't expect me to be a poser
cause I am being myself,
and not some duplicate of the girl-next-door.

If whatever sweet sprinkles I do ain't enough for you
then stop lovin' me.
If pride comes first then love,
then don't fall in love.
If you think I own a dirty heart,
then shut me from your door.

Perhaps I shall just return the key to your lock.

2008-02-14T17:44:00.000+08:00

Never once have I felt love on a valentines' day.
Perhaps, it's just another normal day.
Just that today is being marked with a name.

Happy Valentines' Day love one(s)
Shall sprinkle my loves & regards around.
<3 a plenty.

2008-02-13T16:20:00.000+08:00

If everyone cared and nobody cried

If everyone loved and nobody lied

If everyone shared and swallowed their pride

Then we'd see the day when nobody died

Sometimes I feel empty,
but I'll tell myself I've friends who will be there for me.

Sometimes I wish for someone for my own,
but I didn't want to be tie up.

Sometimes I blame myself for others treating me this way,
but do I deserve all these treatment?

Sometimes I find that I bring it on my own,
but have anyone put themselves in my shoes?

Sometimes I hope for the one I love to understand me,
but they'll ask who will be there to understand them.

Sometimes I feel that my life is a bitch,
but life still have to go on.

Sometimes I tell myself that tomorrow will be a better day,
but in my heart, it's feeling so-not-right.

I took one step,
you took two back,
this will never end.

2008-02-11T17:05:00.000+08:00

The feeling of wanting to cry in the middle of the night.
I don't know what is wrong with me.

2008-02-10T16:57:00.000+08:00

Build me up and tear me down,
like an old abandoned house.

I used to tell my friends that I'm a happy little girl.
Being contented with family & friend's loves.
But I don't feel it now.
Everyone seems to drift away,
as compared to the good old days.

2008-02-09T15:32:00.000+08:00

I'm fallin' sick.
Anyone willing to take care of me?
I'll consider marrying you.

If ever anyone witness me faint,
please do not give me a CPR or call an ambulance.
Just pulls my hair and drag me to a comfy couch
Let me absorb my beauty sleep for 5 days, 120 hours that is
before you call for a prince to kiss me up.

Have been working for 7 days consecutively.
Contributed 54 hours this week.
Please call me a superwoman!

Lastly,
Happy Lunar New Year.
May this year be a healthy wealthy lucky year for you and your family.
Stock up more cheese at home in order to attract more mouse to your house.
Cheers earthlings!
(:

2008-02-05T16:22:00.000+08:00

Will you prefer a friend that seats by your side and listen to you,
agrees with whatever you say,
and just comfort you with his/her words.

Or someone that differentate right or wrong for you,
with a little of harsh words just to make sure you got it into your head.
It mean no harm but hoping that your life will be better in the future?

2008-02-04T01:07:00.000+08:00

I never knew when I'd get to hold it again,

perhaps it takes forever.

A walk down memory lane

2008-02-01T09:19:00.000+08:00

A walk down memory lane, , ,

A photo can say a thousand things
But it can't say the million things I wanna say
A photo can capture the way we were
But it can't capture the way we are.

Me & my swollen pair of eyes.

Photos are put according to time line.
Look at the pretty change in me.
Tell me I've become prettier & slimmer!

Hey you,
selfish self-centered bitch.
I can't bring myself to hate you,
cause I still cherish you.

~~It's just not fair.~~

Got a little emo.
Feel like seating on a swing
and swing my mood away way ay ay.

Where are you my swing partner?

>):

2008-01-31T14:12:00.000+08:00

Before starting a quarrel,
before picking on someone's bad,
have you ever pause for a moment
and put yourself in the other party's shoes?
Have you ever think of someone's good irreplace of the bad?
Have you ever look yourself into the mirror
before you get to say others?

Think through all these points before you pick on someone.
Cause those words you say may just hurt the other party.
Just that you didn't know.

People around me should know,
I'm those kind of girl who won't get fed up easily,
even if I do, it's only for that split minutes
and even if I flare up, I do appologise aftermath.

I treat everyone good,
walking them to an extra miles,
it's not because I'm naive to believe that everyone will be good inreturn.
But I believe in karma,
what goes around comes around.
Even if you broke my heart, my hardship,
I'll still move on and treat you right.

My heart is a fragile thing too.
Once broken, consider sold.

The things I do/say.
It's all for your own good.
It may seems harsh, it may seems cold.
It may not seems right to you,
But come to think of the long term,
I'm just trying to build you into a stronger person.
Will you take a seat by my side and let me explain
before you pin me to the wall and sentance me to death?

2008-01-25T14:10:00.000+08:00

I did a inmatured thing last night.
Took 20 I-don't-know-what-tablets yesterday.
And got myself so so drowsy,
with big swollen eyes.

I didn't know how to vent my anger how.
I didn't know how to pour my unhappiness to others.
So I did such foolish stuff to stop the pain for that very moment.

I came so far,
tried so hard to be firm and stand by my two feets,
but nobody seems to be supporting me.
Everyone is telling me that I changed,
and dislike me for who I am now.
Just because the soft-hearted-michelle can no longer be seen.

First xin drifted apart from me then lin.
Friends that I care & cherish most,
that I want to be there for them.

I started to be independent,
to have my own principles in life.
Thinking that I only live once, so I want to live it happily.
Trying to bury my memories, my upset, my past,
looking forward to everyday.

They thought I couldn't compromise,
not putting myself in their shoes.
Then who's gonna put in mine?
When I'm here struggling and fixing my life?

My parents didn't trust me.
I worked so hard,
study so hard.
Being able to juggle between work and studies ain't easy.
But they never once praise me.
But compare me with my brother.
Just because my brother spend more time at home then me.

My grades are far better,
My intelligent is higher,
I see the world in a bigger piece,
I know what's good what'd bad for me.
I support myself,
don't take money from my parents,
instead, I even purchase things for them,
just to put a smile on their face.

It seems like being independent is a crime.
It is not easy to be myself.
It's difficult to be someone people want, people love.
Cause not all gonna appreciate your life.

Daughtry - Over you

2008-01-22T17:05:00.000+08:00

Now that it's all said and done,

I can't believe you were the one

To build me up and tear me down,

Like an old abandoned house.

What you said when you left

Just left me cold and out of breath.

I fell too far, was in way too deep.

Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.

I should've started running

A long, long time ago.

And I never thought I'd doubt you,

I'm better off without you

More than you, more than you know.

I'm slowly getting closure.

I guess it's really over.

I'm finally getting better.

And now I'm picking up the pieces.

I'm spending all of these years

Putting my heart back together.

'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,

I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,

Dragged the memories down the hall,

Packed your bags and walked away.

There was nothing I could say.

And when you slammed the front door shut,

A lot of others opened up,

So did my eyes so I could see

That you never were the best for me.

No matter how much I struggle,

nothing seems to be right.

I shall stop explaning.

Cause I've said all I could.

It all depends on individual.

So long,

Good night.

Infatuation

2008-01-17T17:36:00.000+08:00

Infatuation obliges the person to concentrate on the "object of their affection," therefore, this makes the infatuated person continually think of their "crush." This is seen as all-consuming, which is therefore easily interpreted as love, bringing the afflicted person to proclaim statements such as: "I love..." when they are (generally) romantically infatuated. This inability to identify between infatuation and love brings about the commonly-used phrase: "Love is blind" as the person involved finds it difficult to concentrate on other matters or see fault with the person(s) they admire.

It all seems like a dream which I have woken up to.
Goodbye my love,
I shall see you in my dreams again.

xoxo,
Infatuater.

2008-01-15T16:14:00.000+08:00

She still can't get over it.
Perhaps it's karma.
She starts to wonder if it's true in the first place,
or is it just a play she's into.

2008-01-14T16:52:00.000+08:00

She's somebody's daughter,
waiting for sombody to love her.

The beep on her cell phone toned down.
And she's still not used to it.

2008-01-10T17:28:00.000+08:00

It's weird how two close friend repel over night.
They often make an effort to spend time together,
compulsory once every week or even more.

Exchange messages every single day.
Their topics were of wide range,
but now it's being put to a full stop.

She walked an extra miles just to see her smile,
while the other lend a cold shoulder.
She didn't blame her for not being there for her,
hoping things could be better,
but it's vice versa.

This friendship stopped ticking,
will it ever work again?
It all takes two hands to clap.

Will you clap with me again?
Will you worry for me like you used to?
Will you draw a smile on my face?
Will you tell me that everything's gonna be okay with you around?

I reckon. .

Toddles people.
Love(s) a plenty.

2008-01-09T16:53:00.000+08:00

My addiction for this week.
And reading is gonna be my new hobby.
Anyone interested in chilling over at starbucks and reading books with me?
Gonna lessen down on my night life.

Without so much as a phone call or exchange message,
we had too much of empty space.
You'll still be someone I'll want to rely on.
I'll still be someone who I could let you rely on.

But if ever you're looking for a partner,
remember to put me on the first list.

2008-01-08T16:40:00.000+08:00

I had my first tattoo.
A little cross on my right hand middle finger.
There's more to come.
:D

2008-01-08T04:28:00.000+08:00

A walk down memory lane.

Hello memories,

Welcome by.

Have I ever told you how much I miss you?

2008-01-02T17:58:00.000+08:00

You made me rely on you,
You made me fall for you,
You made me misses you,
You made me want you,
You made me think of you all day long,
You pull me up & push me down down down.

Perhaps you had an answer in your heart,
just that you didn't know/didn't want to say it out.
That's when alll those cold treatment start coming by.

I still remember how I felt that night
The stars where out and made it all seem right
I guess I fooled myself into falling
Without a shadow of a doubt
I looked straight into her eyes
And that was the night
And I really do miss that feeling.

It's the first day of 2008 and I got so emo.
Everything's wrong and backwards upside down.
This ain't right, ain't right. .

2007-12-31T14:04:00.000+08:00

Leading a simple life,
expecting nothing in return
but appreciation.
And those smiles will make me contented.

Please don't push me around,
when I decided on something,
I'll put my mind, heart & soul to it and strive till the end.
As promised, I'll wait for you to clap with me,
and together we shall close the gap.
Baby, you're my right kind of wrong.

~~And I do miss you.~~

Ryan Cabrera - True

2007-12-13T18:10:00.000+08:00

I won't talk

I won't breathe

I won't move till you finally see

That you belong with me

You might think I don't look

But deep inside

In the corner of my mind

I'm attached to you

I'm weak, It's true

Cause I'm afraid to know the answer

Do you want me too?

Cause my heart keeps falling faster

I've waited all my life

To cross this line

To the only thing that's true

So I will not hide

It's time to try

Anything to be with you

All my life I've waited

This is true

You don't know what you do

Everytime you walk into the room

I'm afraid to move

I'm weak, It's true

I'm just scared to know the ending

Do you see me too?

Do you even know you met me?

I know when I go I'll be on my way to you

The way that's true

Every word I breath to you is true.

2007-12-05T14:23:00.000+08:00

Joan lovely came to fetch me from school
and accompanied me to a doctor.
That's really very sweet of her.
I'm touch by the little things she do.
She never fail to put a smile on my face.

Gastric flu, high fever & throat infection.
They have been hunting me for the pass 1 week.
My system broke down after hanging on for so long.
It's time for me to get some rest
and I'll continue to move on.
There's a long long journey ahead waiting for me.

~~Will you pull me up when I fall the next time?~~

I'm sorry I'm bad,
I'm sorry I'm blue,
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back.

2007-11-30T00:28:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time since I smile from my heart.
And basically I've been laughing for the whole of yesterday.

The cough sweets from her,
the accompany during break,
the floods at lucky plaza,
the mopping, cardboarding, photo taking,
the way customer thank me by my name,
and one even praise that I'm a good sales assistance!

Lastly, the cakes from Tim,
though I forgot to bring it home ):
but I appreciate the effort that he still remember!

PS: We bought a total of 8 mops just to sweep the water away.

2007-11-21T18:19:00.000+08:00

Tell me if you don't want me anymore.
Don't keep me hanging,
don't keep me guessing.
My heart's breaking.

~~My love don't cost a thing.~~

2007-11-20T17:05:00.000+08:00

Today marks the 7th day we haven't been contacting.
Maybe you have forgotten about me,
maybe you're having a better life without me.
Maybe. . .

My pussy starts puking blood today.
Cramps randomly hunting me,
and I'm gonna face with more mood swing I guess.

Each time I closed my eyes,
you appeared infront of me.
I fear to be alone at night,
cause I know I'll be crying myself to sleep.

I'm really tired.
Sometimes, I really thought of giving up.
You ain't there to pull me up when I fell.

I'm afraid,
I didn't know how to close the gap.
You're just so far away,
The longer this goes on,
the further we're gonna be.

You made me feel unwanted,
you made me feel our love ain't strong,
you made me feel that you're a stranger I'm facing.

I can't shout,
can't express my anger or unhappyness out.
All I can do is to sum up and write everything in this dumb blog.

Daniel Bedingfield - If you're not the one

2007-11-18T17:48:00.000+08:00

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it,
I don’t understand.
If I’m not made for you,
then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don’t need you,
then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you,
then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me,
then why does this distance maim my life?
If I say I don't miss you,
then why do I dream of you all the time?

~~I don’t know why, you’re just so far away.~~

Too close for comfort.

2007-11-16T16:10:00.000+08:00

When I closed my eyes,
the picture of us just flashed through my mind.
These's tears that stayed for long,
just dripped down and got washed away as the water flow by.

Not even a minute have I got you off my mind.
Thinking if you're okay,
thinking if you had your meals & had enough rest,
thinking if I'm on your mind.

Maybe you think that I'm expecting too much from you.
But I'm not those materialistic girls that asked for expensive stuff & dinning.
Just a little suprise can brighten up my day.
Like how I tried so hard to get a glance of your smile & laughter.

You said you ain't a sweet/romantic person.
It's just an excuse that I thought.
If you're not,
how did you manage to put a smile on my face last time?
It all depends if you have the heart to.

Sometimes I feel that we don't understand each other.
But I'm trying hard to build this relationship stronger.
I didn't want it to fall apart,
cause I know a part of me still needs you no matter how strong I may seems to be.

I've to jaggle between works & studies.
It ain't easy for me.
Have I ever complain how tired I am?
I didn't, cause I didn't want you to worry.

All I need is a shoulder to lean on.
Someone who can give me a pat on my head and tell me everything is gonna be fine.
That my life will be better with him around.

Was I too close for comfort?
You're pushing me out,
when I'm wanting in.

I'm sorry.
I don't feel good either.
Every sentence comes with a tear.
That shows how much I'm missing the happy times we had together.
Under the sun, under the rain.

Goodbye my love,
hoping that you're doing fine.

I'm not okay

2007-11-10T16:47:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I feel like giving my brother one tight slap.
For being rude to my parents,
for disrespecting me,
for not studying hard,
for fooling around,
for stealing my money,
for many many things he had done.

Few days back I just found out I lost $100 at my house.
I hide it somewhere in my cupboard but it's gone.
Main suspect is him,
but he denied.
And my mum choose to believe him.
Anger, sad, disappointed.

I'm unhappy.
I didn't want to show it how.
I'm trying hard to forget.
I'm tried of daily routines.
Maybe I'm not easily contented.
I'm a girl that love to be pampered.
I need attentions too.
I want to be happy, real happy I mean.

Sigh,
I'm sorry.
I don't feel good too.

2007-10-31T14:56:00.000+08:00

You don't really know me well after all.
hello emo, welcome by.

2007-10-29T16:03:00.000+08:00

A no life life.
Workaholic I called myself.

my hearty

2007-10-22T17:36:00.000+08:00

Hello blog,
I just had my youthful 19th birthday 6 days back.
Merry merry belated birthday to me!

13th October, Saturday.

Met Siting mama & Winson papa @ AMK Hub after my work.
Caught a movie entitled "Brothers."
Hong Kong gangster movie featuring Andy Lau.
He's still as handsome though he's ageing.

Had din din over at Chomp Chomp with
Jolin, Shi Jie, Wei Da, Winson, Siting & Shu Ling.
And dessert over at Cafe Cartel,
where I had my first candle blown.

Sunflower, red love letter, home made cookie & donuts from Shu Ling,
Winnie the pooh puzzle from Papa & Mama,
Tinkerbell ear rings from Jolin & Shi Jie,
2008 Organiser from Wei Da,
lastly, Michelle Tay's card from all.

Oreo Cheese Cake & Chocolate ice cream.
My favourite!
:D

14th October, Sunday.

Had a mini gathering session over at Pasir Ris Park,
BBQ over at Pit 44.
Attendance are very well appreciated.
Thanks all!

New Urban Male's flip flop from Colin, Elina & Victor.
Look, there's a recipt for exchange purpose.
It's a size small!
I got big foots.
):

Chocolates from Siu Zhu.

15th October, Monday.

He came to fetch me from school.
Went Vivo City for din din over at Sushi Tei.

The pretty roses from him.

Our yummylicious dinner.

When our hands got interlocked.

His face watch, my digital watch.

16 October, Tuesday.

I had lesson from 1110am all the way till 930pm on my birthday!
):

Mini me from Siang Choong.
After matching with so many animals, he find cow suits me best.

Bottle of M&Ms and A4 size photo frame from Zero Zero.
Lin sqaure, can I have more of your photos next time instead of mine?
Cause later people thought I zhi lian how?
:x

Chip & Dale Puzzle, Apple Crumple Cheesecake,
Squrriel with a gold bracelet from Jian Ning!
The puzzle is so cute!
I love chip & dale (:

Lin & Jian Ning waited for my lesson to end.
Gave me a suprise by presenting the lighted cake.
And I have to take out all the candles with my mouth.

Roses, favourite tibits, winnie the pooh cup, hearts & cranes and home made sherperd pie from him.
The flowers are right beside me.
It's still breathing.

Joan & Sarah took a cab down over to my crib to give me a suprise.
They are very very sweet.
Cabbie uncle didn't know the way over,
so I went to fetch them at some part of Sengkang.

Personal make up book & lots of make ups for eyes from Sarah.
The different shades of eye shadows.
I suck at putting make ups.
In addition I'm lazy.
But I promised her I'll do so on special occasions.

Joan built this.
It's beautiful.
Zoom in and you'll see me & her living in it.
This reminds me of the toy house I always want when I was a kid.

The back view, filled with chocolates.
Look at the red packet, it's PAD!

17th October, Wednesday.

Worked half morning.
Date with Yan,
But, Wei Da & his cousin came to join us for a movie,
Mr Woodcock.
I fell a sleep half way through the movie.
Story line ain't that interesting.

Love letters from my dearest Yan yan!
I love those drawings, it's so adorable.
Especially the red potatos!
Oh ya, she passed her FTT on my birthday.
Congrads :P

Blink blink belt from Ben Ben.
He came to find me at work yesterday.
PS Ben: Where is my strawberry milk tea with pearl?

He gave this to me today.
A bottle filled with colourful hearts made of straws.
<33

Shout out:
Thanks a plenty for the gifts, suprises & wishings.
I felt so loved.
Every little things you all did & say,
though I didn't say or show it out,
but I appreciate & it melts my heart.
(:

2007-10-10T16:22:00.000+08:00

You always have the key to my door,

maybe you didn't know the right way to use it.

2007-10-09T15:53:00.000+08:00

Do you miss me?

I miss you.

Will you think of me?

I think of you all the time.

Will you give me a hug when you see me?

I'll hug you tight cause I'm missing you badly.

I held back my tears,

but it started to drip when I closed my eyes.

The raindrop got heavier and heavier,

and it's gonna rain tomorrow.

Sorry has become a meaningless word from you.

2007-10-08T15:54:00.000+08:00

I can forgive you for breaking promises time after time,
but I can't forget those hurtful words you said to me.
Never once will you thought of my good,
before picking on nitty gritty things to quarrel.

Nobody is perfect,
neither am I.
But why can't you compromise?
You're not perfect too,
but have I ever pick on you?

-
I stare up at the stars
wonder just where you are
You feel a million miles away
-

Those tears turned into raindrops
that showered down this afternoon.

2007-10-07T18:10:00.000+08:00

I am sad,

I had enough,

my smiles ain't true,

many a times I wish to cry, nobody knows.

You hold me up high and pulls me down to hell.

I don't deserve all these, I really dont.

I'm gonna hide under my blanket for another night.

Faber Drive - Sleepless Night

2007-10-06T16:12:00.000+08:00

Oreo Cookie Cheesecake,
recipe from recipezaar.com

I threw my cell phone on the floor,
tore my bed sheet,
cried till my eyes got swollen & pain,
my head is aching,
my mum gave me a big scolding,
I pinched myself, you said you look down on me,
we're suppose to taste the oreo cheesecake we baked together,
But, you left me crying in bed alone.

-

Another sleepless night
I'm still starin' at the ceiling
I can hear him fighting
Will this ever end?

If I had my way
I'd corner him and say
Put yourself in her position
All she needs is recognition
Love's not enough when you say it
Don't you know you've gotta mean it
Screwing up the best thing ever
Is something you'll regret forever.

-

2007-10-05T13:58:00.000+08:00

Today,
unhappy/disappointed.

I don't want my birthday to arrive.
I'm not looking forward to it
But time seems to pass so fast.
10 days after,
he'll be far far away.
The thought of it makes me want to curl up and hide myself.

I've been an emo shit recently.
That's so not me.
)':

unappreciated

2007-10-03T18:11:00.000+08:00

Promise me,

for the next 23 days we must be happy together.

No more quarrels,

just plain happiness for the both of us.

You don't do the things you use to do.

And lately I've been feeling,

feeling unappreciated.

2007-10-01T16:15:00.000+08:00

Silly girl,

stop crying.

2007-09-29T16:26:00.000+08:00

Mood swings,

Tears,

Tired,

Sighs,

Night.

2007-09-26T23:55:00.000+08:00

to : you(:

met each other since day one of the start of poly.
din talked at all but knew each others existence.
florida was the first name i noe of her.
thinking wad a weird name she has
but it turns out that it was actually my clsmate calling her by her adidas jacket.
afterwhich seeing each other more thru lectures.
june4th i got together with your clsmate;him
den i gradually slowly got closer with her but a year later.
everything changes since june 19th.
the one who was always there.
always ensuring me that there will always be her beside me
wiping away the tears i shed,trying all her ways just to see me smile.
guide me thru the toughest time always attempting to be there for me.
ensuring that i don torture myself by not starving myself.
studyin with me during exams and making sure i don give up on myself
allowing me to feel appreciated and loved at the same time.
constant sm-es that sounds silly yet makes me feel happy.
green tea ,tasty and junks were our daily dosage for muggings.
soon the mugging days were over and time for holidays.
knowing that i need a hectic lifestyle to make sure i could just forget and struggle thru my toughest time.
intro-ed me into gio and there we go working tgt in the same shop.
seeing each other almost every single day even during our off days.
tutu kweys to cheer me up whenever im down.
bee hoon and mee mix mix goreng were supper craze..
constantly making me smile .
the one who make me feel that smiling is worthwhile cos at least someone appreciate
smile more and get stronger like wonderwoman i will be .
time is wad i need and im sure youre willing to give me ample of them
im ending and take great care of urself im stressing.
zero zero loves mich mich!(:

xoxo
loves
hugs and kisses.

I'm gonna miss you

2007-09-26T15:16:00.000+08:00

Every year, I'll always look forward to my special day.
But not this year,
cause 10 days after my birthday,
NS gonna snatch my boyfriend away.

Which means,
less messages from him,
less phone calls from him,
less meet ups,
less time spending together,
less days fetching me from work.

And lastly,
I'm gonna miss him terrible-ly!

There's so much things I wanted to tell him,
but I didn't know where to start from.
I'm not suppose to cry,
but today I did, lying on his shoulder.
):

I may seems ~~independent~~,
But he's the pillar to my life.
I never feel so loved before.
<3

Picture speaks it all

2007-09-17T17:44:00.000+08:00

Ou Yan Hua VS Michelle Tay

Tell me the truth,
who's cuter?
who's prettier?
Please vote!

This was taken on the 12th September, 1.50AM.
My make ups faded.
Cinderella transformed back to Sengkang girl.
Look at my eye rings,
it's conquring my eyes!
):

My whole dressing for Giordano Dinner&Dance,
held on the 11th September @ Marina Mandrian Hotel.
Theme for Lucky Plaza was Black & White Formal Wear.
But the whole of us dress so differently
that we don't seems like a team.

This is Mr Hum-Ji-Pang,
It's horny,
can't you see it's dicky standing up?
HAHA!

Isn't he adorable?
You know the more I look at this photo,
the more I'm lovin' it.
(:

2007-09-15T17:35:00.000+08:00

Mentally & physically tired.
On the verge of breaking down.
I'm not happy.
I'm not feeling well.

Nights.

For Booking

2007-09-04T16:21:00.000+08:00

Hello readers,
I'm open for booking.
One week in advance that is.
As I'll be working 44 hours per week.
Which means 2 rest days for me,
just like those full timers.

Pardon me if I neglacted you bloggy.
But I'll try my best to keep you update.
I adpated myself at LP,
and I'll keep on moving strong & steady.

For booking,
you can either beep my cell phone,
or leave a comment below.

with loves
:D

yan,with love

2007-08-31T17:17:00.000+08:00

I love the way she did small little things to make me smile.
And the silly litte actions that could make me laugh.
I'll keep the sms till one day when I needed someone badly for comfort,
I'll take it out to reedem my 11th minutes of hug.
Thanks Miss Ou.

There's always a time I'll want to give up,
cause I find myself too selfish to keep you by my side.
Cause I know you'll find someone better.
Someone that can share anything & everything that you like.
The 'little girl' you're looking for.

I don't bare to,
cause I love you.
I just want you.
No matter how hard,
I'll still fight.

The love between a seagull & a fish
is only an accidental occurrence.

Avoiding

2007-08-30T15:31:00.000+08:00

I choose not to think about it once I step out of the exam hall.
Cause I know the more I think,
the more worry I'll get,
the more emo I'll become.

No point thinking,
cause the papers were up,
there's no way you can change anything,
so what's the point of habouring it,
when it only kills your brain cells.

I choose not to face the fact,
I choose to throw it aside,
till one day there's no place for me to hide,
I'll stand up to face the hurting reality.

That's me,
dumb & silly.
:(

Where are you my love?

2007-08-28T13:26:00.000+08:00

Many say we ain't compatible.
Many say we won't last.
We came so far, cause our heart are as one.

We had different thinking,
different aim,
different background,
but I believe our heart still beat as one.
That was what kept me holding on.
Since our love are there,
we'll be able to go through thick and thin together.
But what happened recently proved me wrong.

I never ask much from you.
I just need someone who's able to take care of me,
wrap me with comfort,
try all means just to see me smile.
But it seems hard for you to do so.
Or am I asking too much from you?

I wanted us to be happy,
I wanted us to move on,
but it seems like everything I did was wrong.
The you I fell in love with seems to have turned into a shadow.

I miss the you that will
stop me from hurting myself,
hush me when I cry,
worry for me when I had a chest pain,
try his best to put a smile on my face,
promise me tomorrow will be a better day,
and the you with the soft heart.

I kept forcing myself to study,
telling myself give it my best shot.
My brain was working on with revisions,
but my heart went somewhere else insearch for you.

Will you come back to me like before?

Loving you, loving me

2007-08-27T13:00:00.000+08:00

Loving a person is about loving the person for who he/she is.
Accepting the person's character and personality.
It's always you who're not happy about me.
Not happy with what I do, even small little things.

I gave you two choices,
you initiate a break up with me,
or accepting me for who I am,
You choose to accept me for who I am,
but from the way you reply, it seems so unwilling.

Why must we always quarrel over little things.
Why can't you just accept me for who I am?
You say I've to be automatic with the things I do.
If everything I've to follow the way you like,
then it isn't me who you're loving.
It's just someone who you'll want to love.

I love you for who you are.
If I could do the same,
why can't you do it to?
And not expecting me to be who you want me to be.

I hate it when we quarrel.
Especially during my exam periods.
It's not the first neither the second time.

I send you 3 msges today, miss called you I-don't-know-how-many-times.
You made me worried for you the whole day.
But you seems no guilt when you called me back.
Knowing that for the whole day I can't concentrate,
cause my brain was studying, but my heart was searching for you.

For the past few days,
I've been forcing myself to study,
telling myself that I can't afford to fail.
But I'm worried/scared, I will.

Cause it's always the case whenever I step into the exam hall and look at the papers,
my mind went bleak for a moment,
and part of what I studied were gone.
When everything seems just so familiar.

All I need is your motivation.
Like how I tell you to hold on during your exam period,
how I tell you everything will be fine with me around,
how I tried hard to cheer you up & relieve your stress.

I'm not as strong as what many see me as.
I'm just like a morning glory, clinging on to you.

To Siting mama;

2007-08-22T23:52:00.000+08:00

Dear Siting mama,

I know the fact was hard to face,
I know it's hurting, disappointing.
There's no point blaming yourself again and again.

All you can do now is to organise your time well,
and spend more time on your studies.
I'm sure with will and determination,
you can make it through.
I got faith in you,
like how you always have faith in me!

And not forgetting your health.
Must take care of yourself alright?
And remember to have your regular meals despite how busy you are.

I miss you.
Hope we'll meet up soon.
And I can have my strawberry milk tea with mini pearl!
-HUGS-
(:

Love(s)

2007-08-15T14:48:00.000+08:00

Yogurt Yan Yan,

Fire Sparkles,

SpongeBob,
Biscuits,
Chocolates,
Donuts,
Jelly Beans,
Loves,
Cares,
Concerns,
Words.

Love many many many.

I want to be happy with you.

That's all I asked for.

Mentally unsound

2007-08-12T17:04:00.000+08:00

I am mentally & physically tired.

I'm crying while typing this.

I hate it when I have to wipe away my tears immediatly

to prevent my parents from seeing.

There's many times I feel like giving up.

But love doesn't allow,

time doesn't allow,

my care & concern doesn't allow to.

I'm still clinging on to you,

cause I need to,

I want to,

I love to,

I crave to,

I'm used to,

I'm dependent to,

I don't bare to let you go.

I know everything have to come to an end.

But let me sleep in your comfy arms for now,

for, I'll know when to wake up.

I felt so frustrated,

Just feel like fucking bang the wall and get into deep sleep.

Night.

2007-08-11T15:26:00.000+08:00

I'm very sad.
very very sad.
Again, I'm wetting my pillow.
Blanket is the only comfort I wanna relie on.
Uncontrollable is the word.

Our last goodbye

2007-08-10T10:42:00.000+08:00

We bade farewell to grandad on the day of National Day.
Went St Ann's church for prayers,
bade our solemn farewells and paid our final respects.
There were songs we sang,
hoping that our grandad will be fine in the arms of god,
hoping that god will take care of him in the far far away.

Our last stop was Mandai Crematorium.
That was where:
we send him off,
our last goodbye,
his body turned into ashes,
and lastly, his final resting place.

It's my first time going through these ceremony,
I holded on to my tears,
cause I'm not gonna let him worry.

I didn't know why my grandma didn't see him off for the last time.
Maybe she didn't bare to,
As they have been through so many ups & downs along their 60 years of life.
I'm sure she misses him too,
though he made my grandma worried all day long,
though he made my grandma sad all the time.

Normally when we lose our loved ones,
we are grieved because we miss the companionship
and shared memories we’ve had in the past.

However in life,
there are many things about tomorrow we don’t seem to understand
but we know who holds tomorrow
and we know who holds our hands.

Far far away

2007-08-09T19:02:00.000+08:00

My grandad left us to a far far away.
From there,
he'll be free from suffering,
from needles all over his hands,
from bacteria attacks,
from breathing through the mask,
from eating through tubes,
from growing thin till bones was all I see,
from lying down all day at the hospital bed.

I'll miss you grandad,
hope things will be better for you in another world.
If fate allows,
perhaps next future you'll be someone dear to me again.

2nd family,

2007-08-06T01:34:00.000+08:00

First row, right: Mitchy (Billy's sister), Cady, Shi Jia, Hui Ying & Normah (sweetheart)
Last row, right: Victor, Billy, Fione, Syirin, Shikin, Eileen, May & Ryan.

The family bonding,
the warmth, care, concern & laughter,
the songs from Ryan's disc,
I'm missing it.

There's nothing I can find at LP,
but to be independent and relie on myself.
Maybe it's just the start,
it takes time to adapt.

But for the pass few days,
there ain't any good impression,
but bad onces.

By the way,
went to watch sneak preview with yan.

The Secert.

It's Jay Chou’s directorial debut that deals with the memory of first love.

I rate it 5 out of 5.

Tear-ed during the movie.

Gonna watch it for the 2nd time tomorrow with Lin!

Hope BJ will be able to hit their target this August.
Cross fingers and pray hard.
Wish you lucks guys.
(: